About what society expects from you and how to break the cycle

We face expectations. But don’t forget you always have the choice. Let’s exchange about it.

At school from the age of 3 for instance until the age of 14 we are taught the same thing…

We all should learn to read, to write, to count, to speak because we must be able to interact with our environment. We learn some aspects about  the world that surrounds us, its geography, its history, its culture (usually more focused on the country we live in). But we notice some of our classmates succeed easily while others have difficulties.

By 15 we go to high school and choose a path including more or less subjects if we pursue in general curriculum or we study directly a specific or manual profession.

Still we notice some of us succeed easily while others have difficulties. At this age we don’t necessarily know what we want to do so we can make mistakes. But the system keeps going on. We are told to get good grades, to keep studying hard so that we will get the job of our dreams.

By 18 we begin courses at college. Some people like what they do.

But some people realize after one year or even more that the courses they follow dont correspond to their passion or to what they like. But it meets people and society expectations.

They are told they will get a good job with this degree, that companies will fight to get them work for them, that they will get a good salary and that they could do everything after. So either they continue studying without thinking and struggle to finish this bloody curriculum to get this bloody degree. Either they try to take hindsight and to redirect to another path. With more or less success.

Once they get this degree they go to interviews with companies. They can’t always negotiate their salary. But they get the job so they tell themselves cool money is coming. A new Era will begin. Family, relatives and their college are happy.

They are given tasks which sometimes are the ones other colleagues don’t want to do. Sometimes tasks are meaningless. So they decide to stop thinking and to do their job waiting the end of the day, the end of the week, and the end of the month to get their salary to come.

Once you get the job the society expects you to purchase a house, to find a suitor. To marry. To get a first child.

If not a boy the next one should be a girl or a boy. If it’s a girl the next one must be a boy.

Then if you are a woman they will ask you if you are expecting and if you plan to get another children. Because it will have an impact on your career, or it is asked to make you understand you have to focus on people’ or family’ expectations.

If you are a man you will be asked how much children do you have, be given a salary increase if they want so, and if you have an idea of the new car or house you would like to buy.

Then the same things recur, but this time to your children.

Will you let this continue? When will we break the cycle? When will we make choices and take decisions accordingly to what we want and not to expectations ?

When will the educative system teach self-development or at least give meaningful tools to their pupils ? When will children who are future adults learn about self-awareness?

When will children be told all human beings are similar in constitution but unique in terms of state of mind, passion, talents, success… And that they should celebrate their differences. And that they have to and will create their own path?

There is no one way to success. There are several. And someone who has difficulties at school is not stupid : it just means the subjects or way of learning is not adapted to him/her. If only we could add business courses at school. But some people prefer having people thinking inside the box and not outside because they will act as they want, like what we do at school. Don’t be afraid to be assertive (experience speaks).

When will we tell to each child and person that he/she is an extraordinary person, having a huge potential that he/she can use in a good way? When will we tell them they can achieve what they want as long as they believe in their project and work on it?

If no one told it to you we will do so : you have extraordinary capacities that Allah/God gave you so that you will use them in a good way. Don’t waste your life acting without thinking. Each action you do must be meaningful.

But know yourself first.
Know who you are, what you like, what are your passions, what are your skills and what you must improve to make your dreams come true, what print you want to let on Earth when you will be gone. What values are important for you, what values do you want to share, what values you want your (future) children to have in mind and how you want them to become. 

Then you can think about what you want to do and set up an action plan to reach this goal.

Then you can make of this passion or talent a meaningful business or career, complementary with your values. Then you can think about studying or learning new things.

Then you can think of marrying, avoiding toxic persons and not accepting the first person proposing to you because you feel you have to get married as you get older or feel you don’t deserve someone better.

Then you will marry someone having the same vision than you and you will walk together in the same direction and build together. Or maybe you won’t marry.

Then you will create a family and have children and you will teach them values and support them. Or maybe you won’t have children and will adopt or work on charity projects aiming to help orphans.

These are just some examples.

Life is temporary. You can do anything you want to do if your intention is good, if you are fair with people, if you believe in your project. But know yourself first, make choices, take decisions and make your dreams come true to have no regrets. Be yourself, be unique and celebrate your differences.

Hoping this post will help you thinking about your current situation and ask yourself if you are happy with it. If not then you have the answers 😉

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